réactions au dossier Tu sais que tu joues dans un groupe de blues quand…
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ça c'est vraiment drôle !
Le coup du resto chinois est top aussi ! (et tellement vrai
)
Trop bon
hhub17
3115
Squatteur·euse d’AF
Membre depuis 18 ans
OAH man je l'attendais celle-là, ce matin en me réveillant.
Woke up this morning and had a look at Audiofanzine...
Have the best woman I could dream of
And the meanest dog in town (à moins que ce soit le contraire) 
Quand tu bois uniquement du moonshine en espérant finir aveugle, que tu prends un couteau, un bout de verre, un bout de tube de cuivre ou tout ce qui te tombe sous la main pour jouer du slide sur les 3 cordes qui te restent à ton dobro chinois customisé à l'acide.
Be bop a loulou !
Barry Centre
4241
Squatteur·euse d’AF
Membre depuis 11 ans
Et bien sûr, il y a ce classique sur le blues...
Most Blues begin with "Woke up this mornin'." It is usually bad to start the Blues with "I got a good woman" unless you stick something mean in the next line.
Example: "I got a good woman with the meanest dog in town."
Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something else that rhymes. Sort of.
Example: "Got me a good woman with the meanest dog in town...oh, yeah!...Got me a good woman with the meanest dog in town. He got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and he weigh 'bout 500 pound."
Blues cars are Chevys, Cadillacs, and broke down trucks circa 1957. Other acceptable Blues transportation are a Greyhound bus or a "southbound train." Note: A BMW, Lexus, Mercedes, mini-van, or sport utility vehicle is NOT a Blues car.
"Walkin'" plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does "fixin' to die" and "findin' a good woman."
Teenagers can't sing the Blues. Only adults sing the Blues. Adulthood, when it comes to the Blues, means old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
You can have the Blues in New York City or Los Angeles but not in New Haven or Phoenix. Hard times in Vermont or North Dakota are just a minor depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues, but Abilene, Mobile, and New Orleans are ok in a pinch.
The following colors do NOT belong in the Blues: antique violet, champagne, mauve, taupe and peach.
Blues is not a matter of color, however Tiger Woods can't sing the blues; Sonny Liston can.
You can't have the Blues in an office building or a shopping mall; the lighting is all wrong. Other bad places for the Blues: Kmart, gallery openings, and the supermarket. Good places for the Blues: a jail house, your mama's back porch, beside the highway, bottom of a rot-gut whiskey glass, or a solitary room in a fleabag hotel.
No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit or anything by Ralph Lauren.
Do you have the right to sing the Blues?
Yes, if:
• your first name is a southern state. Example: Georgia
• you're blind
• you shot a man in Memphis.
No, if:
• you're deaf
• anyone in your family drives a Lotus
• you have a trust fund.
Yanni, Julio Iglesias, and Barbara Streisand may not sing the Blues. Ever.
If you ask for water and your baby gives you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other Blues beverages are:
• malt liquor
• Irish whiskey
• muddy water
• Thunderbird wine
• one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer. At the same time.
Blues beverages are NOT:
• a mai-tai
• a glass of Chardonnay
• a Yoo Hoo (all flavors)
If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is also a Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, or being denied treatment in an emergency room. It is NOT a Blues death if you die during a liposuction treatment.
Some Blues Names for women: Sadie, Louise, Bessie, and Baby.
Women's names which are NOT Blues names: Heather, Jennifer, Emily, and Alexandra.
Some Blues Names for men: Joe, Willie, Joe Willie, Hank, and Po' Boy.
Men's names which are NOT Blues names: Geoffrey, Damian, and Keith.
People with names like Sierra or Sequoia will NOT be permitted to sing the Blues, no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
Need a Blues Name? Try this mix and match starter kit:
• name of physical infirmity (Blind, Asthmatic, etc.) or character flaw (Dishonest, Low Down, etc.)
• or substitute name of a fruit (Lemon, Fig, Persimmon); or use first -and- fruit names
• finish with the last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
Examples: Low Down Persimmon Johnson; One-Handed Fig Fillmore.
Need a Blues instrument? Play one or more of the following & alternate with husky voice riffs:
• harmonica
• gih-tar
• fiddle
• sax
• pie-anner (in need of tuning)
Now, you're ready to sing the Blues... unless you own a computer.
Most Blues begin with "Woke up this mornin'." It is usually bad to start the Blues with "I got a good woman" unless you stick something mean in the next line.
Example: "I got a good woman with the meanest dog in town."
Blues are simple. After you have the first line right, repeat it. Then find something else that rhymes. Sort of.
Example: "Got me a good woman with the meanest dog in town...oh, yeah!...Got me a good woman with the meanest dog in town. He got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and he weigh 'bout 500 pound."
Blues cars are Chevys, Cadillacs, and broke down trucks circa 1957. Other acceptable Blues transportation are a Greyhound bus or a "southbound train." Note: A BMW, Lexus, Mercedes, mini-van, or sport utility vehicle is NOT a Blues car.
"Walkin'" plays a major part in the Blues lifestyle. So does "fixin' to die" and "findin' a good woman."
Teenagers can't sing the Blues. Only adults sing the Blues. Adulthood, when it comes to the Blues, means old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.
You can have the Blues in New York City or Los Angeles but not in New Haven or Phoenix. Hard times in Vermont or North Dakota are just a minor depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues, but Abilene, Mobile, and New Orleans are ok in a pinch.
The following colors do NOT belong in the Blues: antique violet, champagne, mauve, taupe and peach.
Blues is not a matter of color, however Tiger Woods can't sing the blues; Sonny Liston can.
You can't have the Blues in an office building or a shopping mall; the lighting is all wrong. Other bad places for the Blues: Kmart, gallery openings, and the supermarket. Good places for the Blues: a jail house, your mama's back porch, beside the highway, bottom of a rot-gut whiskey glass, or a solitary room in a fleabag hotel.
No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit or anything by Ralph Lauren.
Do you have the right to sing the Blues?
Yes, if:
• your first name is a southern state. Example: Georgia
• you're blind
• you shot a man in Memphis.
No, if:
• you're deaf
• anyone in your family drives a Lotus
• you have a trust fund.
Yanni, Julio Iglesias, and Barbara Streisand may not sing the Blues. Ever.
If you ask for water and your baby gives you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other Blues beverages are:
• malt liquor
• Irish whiskey
• muddy water
• Thunderbird wine
• one bourbon, one scotch, and one beer. At the same time.
Blues beverages are NOT:
• a mai-tai
• a glass of Chardonnay
• a Yoo Hoo (all flavors)
If it occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is also a Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse, or being denied treatment in an emergency room. It is NOT a Blues death if you die during a liposuction treatment.
Some Blues Names for women: Sadie, Louise, Bessie, and Baby.
Women's names which are NOT Blues names: Heather, Jennifer, Emily, and Alexandra.
Some Blues Names for men: Joe, Willie, Joe Willie, Hank, and Po' Boy.
Men's names which are NOT Blues names: Geoffrey, Damian, and Keith.
People with names like Sierra or Sequoia will NOT be permitted to sing the Blues, no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.
Need a Blues Name? Try this mix and match starter kit:
• name of physical infirmity (Blind, Asthmatic, etc.) or character flaw (Dishonest, Low Down, etc.)
• or substitute name of a fruit (Lemon, Fig, Persimmon); or use first -and- fruit names
• finish with the last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.)
Examples: Low Down Persimmon Johnson; One-Handed Fig Fillmore.
Need a Blues instrument? Play one or more of the following & alternate with husky voice riffs:
• harmonica
• gih-tar
• fiddle
• sax
• pie-anner (in need of tuning)
Now, you're ready to sing the Blues... unless you own a computer.
Barry Centre (jeu de mots)
[ Dernière édition du message le 08/03/2015 à 16:04:15 ]
Jackbrelle
10480
Drogué·e à l’AFéine
Membre depuis 16 ans
Citation de : Patrick truelle
-Ta voie fait passer lemmy kilmister pour miley cirus ou justin bieber à la rigueur
Là, c'est un vrai! 
Après un échange d'idées, chacun peut repartir avec la sienne.
Romano_
1165
AFicionado·a
Membre depuis 20 ans
Le jour ou tu t'es rendu compte que les notes que tu as joué toute ta vie sont les mêmes que celles que tu entends en fond au resto chinois tu as fais cette tête lá ou 
ou Anonyme
85
Citation :
Quand tu joues seul, les grilles font 12 mesures et demi.
ça c'est vraiment drôle !
Le coup du resto chinois est top aussi ! (et tellement vrai
)Jackbrelle
10480
Drogué·e à l’AFéine
Membre depuis 16 ans
Hors sujet :
Tiens? y vient plus l'autre andouille pour dire qu'on est pas drôle du tout?
Après un échange d'idées, chacun peut repartir avec la sienne.
erewhon
18257
Drogué·e à l’AFéine
Membre depuis 19 ans
Quand t'as fini par vraiment croire que cette histoire que tu racontes depuis 20 ans est vraie, ta grand mère l'a rencontré et de son sang coule un peu dans tes veines:
Le plus majestueux des chênes n'était autrefois rien d'autre qu'un pauvre gland...
[ Dernière édition du message le 08/03/2015 à 16:32:44 ]
Anonyme
8413
dana12
17910
Drogué·e à l’AFéine
Membre depuis 15 ans
Oh p'tain, ça y est, j'suis dedans...
Donc quand c'est pour moi, que je me sens clairement visé, je trouve que c'est franchement petit de se foutre de la gueule des bluesmen !!! C'est des gens qu'ont souffert et qui le disent donc faut pas se moquer et pi c'est tout...
- En fait, tu expliques que tu as la pulse, que c'est à ce rythme que ça groove, bien au fond du temps, mais c'est surtout que t'arrive pas à jouer plus vite...
- Tu dis que le rock, le hard, le métal, et le reggae ont tout piqué au blues, ce n'est qu'une question de beat.
Donc quand c'est pour moi, que je me sens clairement visé, je trouve que c'est franchement petit de se foutre de la gueule des bluesmen !!! C'est des gens qu'ont souffert et qui le disent donc faut pas se moquer et pi c'est tout...
Citation :
— tu ne joues qu’en 12/8, à 60 BPM et en open de Ré
- En fait, tu expliques que tu as la pulse, que c'est à ce rythme que ça groove, bien au fond du temps, mais c'est surtout que t'arrive pas à jouer plus vite...
- Tu dis que le rock, le hard, le métal, et le reggae ont tout piqué au blues, ce n'est qu'une question de beat.
Incrédule sur tout, sceptique sur le reste
dana12
17910
Drogué·e à l’AFéine
Membre depuis 15 ans
Citation :
— tu penses qu’un métronome t’empêche de développer ta pulse interne
— les pentas « y a que ça de vrai »
— Tierce, Quarte et Quinte te font plus penser au PMU du coin
Trop bon
Incrédule sur tout, sceptique sur le reste
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