Le Pub de l'écologie

Citation :
ccording to many Youth Ministers, what we're trying to avoid having to actually having to talk about here is far more than just the act of "doing It." While the liberal media wants to undermine virginality and corrupt America's children by insisting that virginality concerns sex alone, the truth of the matter is quite different. Virginality affects your entire essense as a person; that's why it's so shameful to talk about It. Virginality is not available to godless liberals, gays, lesbians, terrorists, or people who have non-abstinent sex before they are married. Virginality is only for Christians, Republicans, and Amerisexuals. Virginality belongs to those precious few God-fearing Americans who are willing police themselves constantly as they pursue that most elusive of unreachable goals.


God wants his people to try really hard to get virginality, and God wants you to work every day to keep virginality even though you're bound to fail at It (especially if you're any good at "doing It"). Because virginality is a quality of personhood, and not just a state of the flesh, almost everyone eventually fails at virginality in some fashion (for exceptions, see "Exemplars of Extra-Virginality"). The great thing about virginality, though, is that there are so many different types of virginality and so many new and exciting methods to achieve virginalization that you can always try again! And try we must, for if we do not support God and his elected leaders in their efforts to protect America's virginality from the terrorists, our future is going to get a lot more unpopular, knocked up, and syphilitic.

Citation :
Elephants (elle-EE-Faaaant) are large creatures that live in San Diego, Africa, Mexico, Asia, and India. They have thick grey skin and ivory tusks laden in precious South African diamonds. They are the second largest living land mammal behind the Yeti (aka Big Foot).

The elephants once faced the threat of extinction. Ironically, this was a result of efforts by environmentalists and other liberals to "protect" these noble beasts. In the last six months, a tremendous comeback has been made, largely because of George W. Bush's efforts to encourage elephants to "pull themselves up by their bootstraps." The population of elephants has tripled in size from January to June during 2006 - but environmentalists will not have you believe this. However, truthiness and wikiality activist Stephen Colbert has shown that the elephant population has actually tripled. Growth in elephant population was achieved thanks to Colbert fathering over 1,000 elephant pups. It is unknown how this was accomplished, but it seems likely that a special, as-yet unannounced elephant version of his popular Formula 402 was involved.